Jaclyn Beckerman Coaching

The soul doesn’t talk in language, it talks in feeling; in intuition, pulling or knowing towards something.

How often are we in conflict about things because what our head says isn’t what our heart wants?  The answers to your purpose and the path you’re meant to take in this life don’t reside in fear, judgment, or self-loathing.  They lie in going within, to that deep part within you that knows your higher truth and the vast array of abundance that is completely available to you.

Not everyone is willing to take this path though.  Lets be honest, it’s not the ‘easy’ path to take.  It’s so much easier to remain stagnant and stew in the comfort of our incompletions and dissatisfaction than it is to actually break free of those patterns and be responsible for how our life occurs for us.

Personally I stewed for SO long.  For most of my life in fact.  It’s definitely coaching, transformational and spiritual work that has pulled me out of my shitty little box of what was possible for me.  Actually, I always saw the bigger picture and the the possibility of life, I think I just didn’t really believe true happiness and fulfillment was possible for me in my heart.  I knew it was possible for everyone else but some core part of me didn’t believe that I deserved it too.

It’s mind-boggling for me to realize how far I’ve come from that place.  I may have understood intellectually before but didn’t truly get in my heart that love truly is all around you and within.  You don’t need something outside of yourself to tell you you’re worthwhile and lovable.  You, without even trying, just are.  Just like I am.  There are treasures and wisdom and riches within.  Yet I kept looking for things outside of me to justify my worth.  (Look for yourself here too – where are you doing that?)  The ironic thing is that if you know me, you’ve probably always known that I’m valuable and lovable, while not truly believing it about yourself.  Or at least having some form of ‘I’m not good enough’ persistently hanging out in your head.

Funny how we all think we’re so different, but we’re actually not.  We all have fears and insecurities.  We all go through breakdowns and think that ours are so unique… and no one has it as bad as we do… and it’s not fair… and why can’t we just be like everyone else who has it together?!

The big joke is that no one has it all together.  We’re all working out or own stuff and in the process of generating our lives.  We may be at different stages in the process or dealing with different kinds of problems.  (Case and point, Mother Theresa had way bigger problems than I do and was certainly more evolved on her journey of compassion, tender-heartedness and contribution – but I’d put money on that she still dealt with her own fears and ‘problems’ just like everyone else has to. Same with the Ghandi, the Dalai Lama, etc.   We’re human.)

All I’m saying is that when you see, own, and access all the love around and within you, you stop searching for it externally and start owning that you are responsible for and fully capable of creating the life you want.  Rev. Gold said “Once you’ve connected to the inner kingdom, the place from which stuff comes, you now have access to it.  You no longer have to worry about what channel to get it from next.”

So what I’ve taken is is to stop worrying – it’s ALL within.  And wow, are things just happening in my life.  I invite you to do it with me.

I feel like many (most?) people don’t.  In fact, many people seem to actually hate themselves.  Which sounds really sad (and it is) but seems so frequently to be true.

I used to be one of those people. Who didn’t love myself and didn’t think I was lovable.  Now, until getting involved with transformational work, I didn’t actually realize I felt this way.  It was a core belief I had hidden away far below the surface, where I didn’t have to see it or do anything about it. I might have even denied it if I’d been asked and I certainly did my best to overcompensate for the belief by being confident and outgoing.

In fact, there are plenty (perhaps even the majority) of people who even when they do face the fact that they believe this (or something like it, ie: worthless, useless, etc), don’t want to do anything about it because they’re so terrified of change and the unknown that they’d rather have things stay the same, safe and comfortable albeit resigned and unsatisfying.

From that place, you’re always living a life of not being enough.  So naturally, nothing ever will be enough.  From there, you can only see what’s lacking and trying to fix what’s wrong.

When in reality, there’s nothing wrong with you at all and certainly nothing to fix.  You are complete and whole just as you are.  There may be some stuff (mainly beliefs) in the way of you living the life you want to live.  But it’s transforming those beliefs and your relationship to yourself, not ‘fixing’ them, that makes the difference.

This has been a long journey for me to come to this place where I DO love myself and am happy with who I am.  I may not have it all figured out yet, and there are of course still fears that come up within me, but inherently I believe that I am a loving contribution to the world and the world is lucky to have me.

A delightful result of this is that I’m actually being a very different person and attracting wonderful things into my life like new men, friends, clients, and venues that support my continual growth and contribute to me living a phenomenal life of my choosing.

A friend asked me how I possibly had so many men asking me out and said I needed to give lessons.  I told her she needs to learn to love herself first and the rest will follow.  I really believe that it’s only because I’ve finally accepted myself with compassion and love that I’m attracting so many great things into my life.  I’m sure you’ve heard the old adage that says, ‘you can’t love someone until you learn to love yourself’.  Well I believe that’s true, and additionally that it will be much more difficult for someone else to love you if you can’t love yourself.  How can someone else possibly give you what you deny giving yourself?

So answer for yourself honestly, how much do you really love you?  Could it be more?  What could you take on to increase your experience of self-love?  Because whether you’re willing to admit it or not, I bet everyone could use more love in their lives – and it truly does start with you.  Feel free to share below. <3