Jaclyn Beckerman Coaching

In this moment, right now, I am the possibility of love and abundance.

I generated and created this on Sunday in the Landmark Advanced course.

Following that, this week I’ve created 3 new clients, 5 requests for sample sessions, 1 promise to hire me mid-April, and a request for me to speak at a networking event.

Wow!  Talk about an amazing week!

I’ve also had 2 dates, spent time with amazing friends, took a salsa class and learned some tango.

If you’re looking for love and abundance, I am SO the coach for you!

What I really intended to share in this post is a new project I’m creating.  I’ll be participating in the Landmark Self Expression and Leadership seminar in May and was thinking about what project I could work on for it.  You create a community project where you generate the idea and lead it but actually give the project to the community to create.

One of the leaders of the seminar came in to tell us a bit about it and mentioned that she tells people to just think about what they’re passionate about – most folks create projects that have some bigger impact on the world or their community. One person arranged for two panda’s to be flown in from China (this costs millions of dollars), another created wind chimes they’re looking to sell a million of with all the proceeds going to Haiti.  So you get the idea.  Big impact stuff.

The idea I generated is to create a worldwide travel network/group for Landmark graduates.  It will be a website something akin to couchsurfers.com yet maybe more like a social networking site.  Thus far, my idea is to keep it within the Landmark community because it’s a trusted community that lives in integrity so it takes out the sketchy or potentially unsafe aspects that might stem from a network of just anyone.

The idea will be for people who participate to offer their homes (couches/extra bed) to travelers within the Landmark community from all over the world.  They could also offer to be a tour guide, provide ground transportation, offer frequent flier miles, etc.  Someone could post that they need to get a flight from point A to point B and people could contribute/donate to that flight.  (There are a million and a half Landmark graduates worldwide – if it’s a $1000 flight for example, 1000 people could each donate just $1 and the flight would be covered).  My vision for this is that it creates traveling as accessible to everyone where it’s currently inaccessible AND encourages community, generosity and contribution all over the world.

As some of you know, I’m going to be traveling come December.  I’ll still be coaching while I’m gallivanting country to country but am planning to travel through Central and South America, then to Africa, then to Southeast Asia. I’ve now created the possibility of actually getting this trip sponsored and I plan to blog about it as I go.  Part of what I see within this is to bring the travel program to Landmark campuses wherever I travel to and enrolling them in participating. I also want anyone who has ever wanted to travel to join me for whatever part of it they’d like – ideally using this program if they need it.

I’ve also had the idea to possibly get the website itself sponsored by an airline or travel site.  Perhaps that website sponsorship money could go into a pot for people to draw from to put towards traveling AND perhaps the airline or travel site who sponsors it can offer a discount to group members who use their services.  Basically this creates a win-win for the sponsor to get advertising to potentially a million and a half people for nearly free (since people would feed money back into them) AND people get money to travel!

If you’re interested in sponsoring any part of this (or have some connections to enroll anyone in doing so) or would like to get involved, let me know!

Please leave any thoughts, comments or ideas below!

I just had my Landmark Advanced Course this weekend.  It was AMAZING.

For anyone who thinks Landmark is a cult or brainwashing or whatever you’ve made up about it – you have NO idea what you’re missing.

I’ve been doing transformational work for nearly two years now and in this weekend I finally got myself.  I got freedom, love and abundance.  I realized that my biggest shtick in life has been that ‘you don’t care about me’.  If you broke off plans with me at the last minute, you didn’t care about me.  If I was always the one reaching out to you to make plans and it was never or rarely reciprocal, you didn’t care about me.  If you didn’t support me when I asked for it, you didn’t care about me.  If you didn’t give me referrals when I requested them, you didn’t care about me.  This could go on forever.  And it did, really.  In all of my relationships.  Whatever you did that didn’t seem loving in my opinion, that’s what I made it mean.

One of the huge things I got this weekend, and I do mean one because there is SO much more that I got as well, was that ‘You don’t care about me’ is absolutely 100% NOT TRUE.  I MADE IT UP.  And I then related to people like it was the truth.  AND, if you didn’t care about me, then I didn’t have to care about you either.  I can see that what I unconsciously thought I was getting out of this cycle was protection from getting my heart broken.  Yet that was completely made up as well because from that place I never got to really be connected or related to anyone in a deep and meaningful way.  Which completely cost me having amazing relationships.

I certainly have more to share and will do so in other posts but for now I will leave you with this.  How would your life transform if you actually got that the automatic way you were relating to people was completely inauthentic and made up?  We’re all human so we all do it.  What if you had the freedom to create ANYTHING you wanted?

My final evening of the advanced course is tonight from 7:30p-10:45p.  It’s at 317 W. 33rd between 8th & 9th Ave.  We’re allowed to bring guests so consider yourself invited to transform your life and your relationship to yourself and others.

Or if that’s not for you, I’m more than happy to have a conversation with you about creating possibility and abundance in your life.  I am beyond lit up about the magic of life and am so excited about sharing it.  Come and get it!

I’m feeling the need to share that I don’t like talking about my business in my posts.  There’s something about looking good and avoiding looking bad that consistently keeps me from writing about wins (or breakdowns) or lessons I learn in my business.

I’ve taken my willingness to be vulnerable with people to a whole different level just by starting this blog yet it’s clear to me that I’m not sharing things that would definitely be of value to folks in order to save face or avoid being judged.  It’s funny because I imagine it’s easy for people to judge lots of the things I talk about in my posts anyway yet for some reason when it comes to my business, I get far more confronted than by other topics.

I think we all do this.  We don’t share authentically with everyone what’s really going on in certain areas of our lives because we judge that they should be going or certain way or shouldn’t be going however they are.

Something fabulous that one of my clients said today was that in looking at how things were in the past (actually just a few months ago), she saw that they had to go the way they did and she had to go through what she did in order to get where she is now.  And because of that, she could see that the process was perfect.  Because today she feels empowered and liberated from some limiting beliefs that had a stronghold on her for most of her life.  But couldn’t have gotten here without going through the muck.  By the same logic, you can’t get where you want to go without going through whatever is in the way and breaking it down.  So naturally then, where you are too is perfect.  And there’s simply still work to be done to get the results you want.

So the thing I want to share about my business today is that I’ve had a breakthrough in it recently.  I shared in my post, Give It All Away, that I finally understood that I wasn’t getting what I wanted in life because I wasn’t giving it to the universe.  I said I wanted to be a contribution and to have a thriving coaching practice but I certainly wasn’t consistently having new clients sign up.  What I see is that I was actually being really stingy with both myself and others – more interested in what I could gain for myself than what I could give away to others and life.

What I didn’t share about my experience that day at Sacred Center was that this understanding that I needed to give to the universe what I was looking to have myself really moved to give more than my usual $2 or $3 donation when they passed the baskets around.  Instead, I filled out a credit card slip and donated $20.  This may or may not seem like a huge deal to you but for me it was an act of giving away the thing I’d been struggling to bring in to myself to something I love – without the story of ‘I can’t afford to do this’ or ‘I need to save money’ or ‘This is irresponsible’ attached to it.  I was contributing to something I saw as wonderful in the world instead of looking to be contributed to.  And it felt great.  Her message (I recommend reading the post if you haven’t already) had really shifted my perception of who I was being in the world.

The magic, the reason this is so significant to share, is that the very next day, I had a new client hire me.  While I know I’m a great coach and provide a lot of value for people, actually bringing in new business had definitely not been my strong suit in the past.  So just believe me when I say that this blatant manifestation of the law of attraction was pretty phenomenal.

I have been living and being from this place ever since.  Very aware of my intentions and solely out to contribute to people whether they are friends, prospects, clients, colleagues or family.

This past Sunday at Sacred Center, when they passed the donation baskets around, I at first gave $3, then I decided that was too stingy and was compelled to give more and added another $5.  I also did a workshop which I knew I wanted to participate in and was another $10.  I only had one sample session set up for this week, my first since that last one.  Now THIS prospect, who is wonderful and my ideal client, hired me as well.

More and more I’m feeling confident and certain that my practice is going to thrive and I will be able to serve myself by serving others!  My dream is to support as many people as possible in transforming their lives to be the life of their dreams! (In the future that will also include books and inspirational speaking!) And I must say, living (and loving) from this place and creating this life is SO exciting and rewarding!

What do you see would be possible for YOU if you started living from a space of contributing rather than ‘getting your needs met’ or ‘what’s in it for you’?  (And lets be honest, ‘what’s in it for you’ tends to dominate most folks way of being whether they intend it to or not.)

This story was relayed to me in my Landmark Forum in Action seminar last night.  It really struck me as incredibly insightful and inspiring and I wanted to share it with you.  Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below!

The Sense of the Goose

In the fall when you see geese heading south for the winter flying in the “V” formation, you might be interested in knowing what science has discovered about why they fly that way. It has been learned that as each bird flaps its wings, it creates uplift for the bird immediately following. By flying in a “V” formation, the whole flock adds at least 71% greater range than if each bird flew on its own.

Lesson: People who are a part of a team and share a common direction get where they are going quicker and easier, because they are going quicker and easier and because they are traveling on the trust of one another.

Whenever a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go through it alone and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the power of the flock.

Lesson: If we have as much sense as a goose, we will share information with those who are headed the same way we are going.

When the lead goose gets tired, he rotates back in the wing and another goose takes over.

Lesson: It pays to share leadership and take turns doing hard jobs.

The geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep their speed.

Lesson: Words of support and inspiration help energize those on the front line, helping them to keep pace in spite of the day-to-day pressures and fatigue.

Finally, when a goose gets sick or is wounded by a gun shot and falls out, two geese fall out of the formation and follow the injured one down to help and protect him. They stay with him until he is either able to fly or until he is dead, and then they launch out with another formation to catch up with their group.

Lesson: If we have the sense of a goose, we will stand by each other when things get rough.

The next time you see a formation of geese, remember: it is a reward, a challenge and a privilege to be contributing to a team!

(Author unknown)

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This seems to have come at the perfect time since in my post yesterday I spoke of only fostering relationships with amazing people from now on.  This story really just reinforces what I’ve already realized: that (for me) being with like-minded people who are raising their vibration (or spiritual consciousness) or doing transformational work inspires me to be bigger, bolder and step further into my leadership.

Conversely, I can see that being with folks who are very judgmental or pessimistic pulls you into their vortex of negativity and drains you.  So again, the message is, surround yourself with those who bring you up, not down!

Being with other leaders who have courageously taken on this kind of work allows me to step up and take on the challenge of learning to lead effectively and as a team part of the time while allowing others to take the lead and supporting them other times.

The bottom line is: the weight of the world does not have to rest on my shoulders alone. Which I think it may seem like sometimes. I have wonderful people I can enroll in supporting me in whatever way I need because they love and care about me – and I get to do the same for them.  These people most definitely challenge and inspire me.  From my leadership team in Accomplishment Coaching, to all my fellow participants in Landmark, to the folks I meet at Sacred Center and Siddha Yoga and the various other spiritual, mental, emotional and physical venues of my life. I have to say, it’s pretty amazing to realize the vast richness of the resources I have and am creating.

We talked about rackets more tonight. Rackets are essentially a complaint you have which come ball & chain with an automatic way of being around it, payoffs for what you get out of maintaining this racket (essentially ways to avoid responsibility) and what it’s costing you to keep this up (your aliveness).

So here’s one of mine that I distinguished tonight.

My racket is “I don’t feel like it” aka “I don’t want to”. (Sound familiar? Wouldn’t surprise me.)

The impact of this is that I don’t do the things I say I will or want to do (or even better, I’m sneaky and don’t declare them at all so that I don’t have to be held accountable to them) and then don’t get the results I want. So, yea, that pretty much sucks.

Who I get to be about this complaint is irritable, bored, annoyed and/or frustrated (to name a few off the top of my head).

I guess the payoff for this is predominantly that I get to avoid domination (of being busy, of change, of having too much responsibility, it seems of doing anything really, huh?).

This is costing me my vitality, self-expression, accomplishment, and joy!! If I had to pick just one thing I’d say it’s costing me satisfaction.

So.. yea, duh, huge cost! I mean, I don’t know about you but all those things are pretty important to me. As juicy as the payoff is of avoiding domination, and oh it is most definitely juicy, it’s certainly not as great as my personal satisfaction with life!

SO, I’m creating the possibility of being UNREASONABLE!

(Before you think I’m crazy, see my post ‘Time for the gym?” http://wp.me/pLnuP-f for what I mean by unreasonable.

Great line from tonight: “A life of possibility and a reasonable life simply do not fit in the same space.”

It’s REALLY time for me to stop living a reasonable life and actually get my butt in gear.

Lets be honest, it’s not gonna happen today. I HAVE gone every day the gym was open thus far on vacation (so minus 2 for nye & they’re closed on Sat) so that’s 8 and I deserve a day off!

I mean, that’s certainly more than enough, right? Though to be fair, the way we’ve been eating I could’ve been in the gym twice as long and it still wouldn’t outweigh the massive amounts of decliciousness I’ve been consuming.

There’s a wonderful concept they use in Landmark (& Accomplishment Coaching but it wasn’t so eloquently described there) that they call being ‘unreasonable’. Not actually meaning to go be obnoxious and demand people bow down to you. Rather to ‘go against your reasons’, generally reasons for not doing something, and do it anyway. And they say that this will create results in your life.

I have to say I think I’ve done an admirable job of this this vacation because let me tell you, I did not want to go workout all those times. Though I certainly felt better for having done so. Both physically and mentally (one more piece of bread? suuuure, I earned it). If it’s not clear yet I still certainly ate whatever I wanted, I was just attempting to curb some of the damage this could create.

And we do have another (what is sure to be) decadent meal to come for dinner tonight…

Crap, I think I just cornered myself. Fine, I’m off to the gym… but I’m not staying crazy long so I can get to the beach!

Damn unreasonable actions and results.

Well.. this is my first post on this blog. So hello cyber world. It’s nice to be here.

I have another blog (blogspot): www.jnbcoaching.blogspot.com. It’s more inspirational pieces I’ve written. It’s fallen flat for awhile as I didn’t really feel like I had anything to write about. Ok lets face it, I’m just a bit lazy sometimes. Ok, a lot lazy. Feel free to check it out anyway.

My intention with this shiny new blog is to just post about my life and the journey that I’m on. I do A LOT of transformational work and it has made a PROFOUND difference in my life. I’m a completely different person than I was just a year and a half ago. It sort of makes me wish I had started this sooner but to be frank I really just wasn’t jumping for joy at the idea of pouring my heart out in a way that exposes me so completely. Besides, it’s par for the course for me to have amazing ideas but to not actually get off my tush and do anything about them for undefined periods of time.

Now, and this one’s a shocker, in the past I’ve had some seriously debilitating fears of exposing my true thoughts and feelings to people because I didn’t believe they would accept me if I shared them. Oh, I’m sorry, you say you feel the same way? Welcome to humanity 101. It took me too long to realize that this is how the entire world feels and people are just as afraid of me as I am of them.

So – here’s the nutshell of my world. I’m an ontological life coach. Ontology is the study of being meaning we’re looking at how you’re ‘being’ in the world that has things going the way they are. I’m 25 years old (at least until May 5). I know, I know. You’re thinking she’s so young to be a life coach! What could she possibly know about life? It’s like a broken record how many times I’ve heard that. WELL, quite a bit if you’re interested. But coaching has nothing to do with life experience or knowledge. It’s predominantly provocative questions that have my clients dig deeper to gain insight about what’s really going on for them, where they’re getting in their own way, pointing to blindspots, helping them get perspective and having them find their own answers outside of how ‘life as usual’ tends to go for them. I graduated from one of the best coach training programs in the country (Accomplishment Coaching) and now help lead the program in NYC coaching & training new coaches. Although leading this program can certainly seem arduous at times, it’s absolutely incredible and is constantly and unwaveringly making my life better.

I also recently completed the Landmark Forum. If you do or don’t know what that is, it’s essentially a transformational education. Ontologically based just like my coach training program. I’ll be taking the advanced course in March which I’m really looking forward to.

Anyway, I won’t go into crazy detail about either in this 1st post of mine because I’m certain you’ll hear tons more about it as I post.

I was raised Jewish but never really bought into any religion’s ideologies. To be fair, I never really understood a good amount of what they were saying – partly because half of it was in hebrew and partly because I just wasn’t interested. But I will say I love the cultural traditions of Judaism. Not to say I wouldn’t love to have a Christmas tree someday either (a secret desire I believe most Jews harbor). I definitely consider myself to be spiritual and I’m sure you’ll get that. I’m a work in progress in this area though. I don’t have a set anything I believe in but I do believe in God and love. I believe we’re all one and that our purpose is to learn from one another in order be our best selves & to have an experience of ourselves AS pure love. I on and off go to Sacred Center in NYC which from what I gather is nyc’s version of LA’s Agape – a non denominational spiritual center (called a church but I’ve yet to find comfort in that word) where they talk about opening your heart to love and the gifts the universe has to give you and stepping into your own personal truth. It’s amazing there and soul feeding. They base their teachings on the Tao Te Ching and The Science of Mind (with principles of the law of attraction thrown in there.) I undoubtably love it there.

I LOVE books like Conversations with God, Power of Now, The Four Agreements, The Celestine Prophecy, The Alchemist. A Return to Love, . I’ve also recently read Ghosts Among Us, Many Lives Many Masters, Embraced by the Light. Currently reading Eat Pray Love (Elizabeth Gilbert) and Dark Side of the Light Chasers (Debbie Ford). I’m like a junkie for this stuff. Though admittedly, I CAN BE a slow reader (depending I suppose on how riveting and/or easy to read the book is) and sometimes put books down half way through for an indeterminite – amount of time.

I’m sure there’s more to say about my spiritual quest but I won’t go into it right now – inevitably it will come up later anyway

ANYWAY, I’m planning to just blog about my life. The process(es) I’m going through. What I’m learning and how I’m growing. The new insights I find out about myself. Based on my experience, chances are you’ll learn things about yourself as well along the way. I mean, we are all one after all.

So I hope you’ll join on this journey with me. I really see that this can be a way, just one way, to help change the world. One inspiration at a time. I hope it serves you dearly as I’m sure it will serve me as well.

Love and light,

Jaclyn