Jaclyn Beckerman Coaching

I had my intuitive tools class with Deganit Nuur today.  Deganit is a gifted intuitive reader who went to school for it and is now teaching folks who are interested how to do it themselves.  It’s essentially a lot of visual meditation and allowing your intuition to express itself to you either visually or by thoughts that come to you.  She does the class in 4 levels with three 3-hour classes per level at $150 for class.

I’ve used the techniques/tools just for myself to ground and bring in good energy as needed which is amazing and it’s also useful for gaining insights from past events, making decisions or attracting something into your life.

Today we learned how to look at relationships in our lives and learn what’s going on in them and how they’re serving us as well as how they’ll develop in the future.  We also learned how to go look at past events that have occurred and see what there is to learn from them (or to learn from our past selves or what we have to say to our past selves).

It’s a small class this time with just two of us learning so we’re doing it at my place.  One girl had to leave a bit early so at the end Deggi and I read each other.  I of course won’t share about her reading since it’s not mine to share but I will tell you a bit about mine!  I’m just going to share one thing she saw in my current life and then share what she saw looking into one of my past lives.

Again, Deggi is amazing at doing readings.  We talked about my friendships and she described one of the girls she recognized as me having a really close friendship with in the future.  She saw someone who had long dark hair & fair skin who really doesn’t care about what others think about her.  She’s a very bold person, is not a people pleaser at all and will always give it to me straight and I know that she completely still loves me and accepts me for who I am.  She said she is not very open to the metaphysical stuff that I’m into (it’s kind of weird to her) but is curious about it and there’s a part of her that is into the idea of it and it’s inspiring to her.  She helps me not care about what others think and own my space more and I help her with her spirituality and her softer side.  I probed with some questions asking if I already knew this person and she got a ‘yes and no’ saying I may have met her a few times but don’t really know her and we don’t have friends in common.  Then she said I may have met her in a gym class (I gasped).  Then I asked if I had ever been friends with her before and she said she ‘got a huge yes’. I told her I knew who it was!  She asked who and I said my friend Jen (to which she got a yes).  I met her in the gym before school started in 8th grade! She was one of my closest friends when I was young and then we grew apart and just reconnected a month ago. (Jen has admitted that she’s not very open to the metaphysical but is very interested to learn more about it because I’m so passionate about it.  The rest of the description of her is pretty accurate as well.)  So I thought this was incredibly cool validation for what she was seeing because there’s no possible way she could have known all this stuff about this friend.

On to the past life part.  I also asked if I’d been a princess in a past life (if you’ve read my past posts, this has come up for me more than once) and she said yes and then looked into the life that came up for her. She saw me at around 9 years old.  I always got what I wanted (funny because my sister recently said I was put on this planet to get what I want) and I was running around the castle, not very well behaved (frustrating for my caretakers).  I knew the rules but thought, ‘whatever I’m a princess’, so I ignored the smaller rules and acted instead on the bigger picture I saw around me.  I was gifted at seeing the bigger picture and it benefited me mentally, emotionally & spiritually to act on that but would frustrate others, which in turn would frustrate me. When looking into what year and country it was she saw Scotland in 1866.  (Which was also incredibly interesting because if you check out my post on my recent past life regression session, my cousin commented on it saying when she went to Scotland in 2005 she had a really strong feeling she’d been there before! (They say your soul tends to reincarnate with the same group of souls many times)).

She saw my sister now (Jen) as a little boy who wasn’t royalty but was a good friend who I would play with (who was just as naughty as I was).  For me he represented freedom and the ability to just play and be a kid and for him I represented a lot of acceptance.  He didn’t have that many friends (and especially not royalty) so it was really special for him that I was a princess and wanted to be his friend.  (Though I played the princess card sometimes, ‘my way or the highway’, which didn’t bother him.)  My current parents were caretakers of mine in this lifetime but not the king and queen – my mother as my caretaker was really patient with me.  The king was a boyfriend of mine in this lifetime, either past or future but she thinks future.

My gift is seeing the bigger picture but I have to realize that I’m still living in the smaller picture too.  There are still rules I do need to go by just to make it so it works out for everyone (although in the grand scheme of things I don’t need to but it makes my personal life a lot easier if I follow the systems already set up).  It’s easier to be in the now than just try/want to jump to the future since I don’t have the tools to jump to the future.

The lesson for this lifetime was that that if I’d just go sit in the princess chair for 5 minutes (instead of running away from it every time they tried to put me there) it would actually take a lot less time than my running from it and being brought back constantly which would end up taking 15 minutes – ie. what there is for me to learn in this lifetime is PATIENCE (which has come up for me before).

I asked if I’d been a princess in other lifetimes and she counted 5.  I also asked how many lives I’ve lived and she said she a lot – hundreds.  My sister and I have joked that we were probably married in a past life (which she got a huge yes for – but not this particular life as a princess) and that she was my mother in a past life as well (which she also got a yes for).  The two biggest things for me to learn in my current lifetime are patience and trust.  I can never know what people are thinking and it will be huge for me to just enjoy the silence, know how I feel about them and let that hold more value than how I think they feel about me.  It would be a huge lesson for me to put the emphasis on me and what I’m getting out of it instead of trying to figure out what they think/feel about me.

Seriously, Deganit is AMAZING!  If you’re interested in doing a session with her you can go to her website and contact her here.

I did a past life regression with Rethnea on Sunday.  It was very cool.  It’s very similar to visual (intuitive) meditation except you’re answering questions about yourself and not someone else.  You can check Rethnea out on her blog.  She’s warmth, generosity and peace all wrapped in one delightful package.

I saw glimpses of 3 past lives.

In the first I was a cavewoman.  My cave was on the side of a mountain next to an ocean.  It had and entrance made of 2 long stones (top to bottom) standing on either side of the entrance and one on the top like a hood.  There was an ocean at the bottom and when I went up to it to look at myself I saw I had an average build, long dark hair, bare feet, brown clothes and was kind of dirty.  Then we fast forwarded to dinner time where I saw I had a husband (a big burly guy) and 2 young children, a boy and a girl.  We often ate meat.  I wasn’t very satisfied with my life and seemed to just be getting by, settling for how things were although I wasn’t really happy.  We fast forwarded to the next significant thing that happened where I saw that I was chased down and murdered by a man, being stabbed in the back with a sharp object.  I wasn’t clear on why.

In the second life I was a princess in either India or Egypt – at first I thought Egypt but once I was there I thought it was India.  I first saw myself walking through a bustling village and people stopped when they saw me.  I felt a lot of love and compassion for them.  I was maybe in my late teens and had long dark hair pulled back wearing a headpiece that come to a point between my eyebrows and a purple garment that wrapped around me.  We fast forwarded and I next saw myself living in an ornate palace with my father and younger sister (who I believe was my older sister Jen) – it seemed somewhat solemn in the scene I saw.  (This is extra interesting because afterward when I shared this with my sister she said she’s been told be two different psychics that she has been a Indian princess and a Egyptian priestess in past lives!  They say you frequently reincarnate with the same group of souls although they may exist in a different relationship to you.) There may have been more family but those are all I saw.  I had the sense that my mother had passed away after my sister was born.  Fast forwarding, I was forced to marry (or be with – I wasn’t clear on whether or not we were actually married or not) a man I didn’t know or love who was very aggressive and cruel and I was really despondent about it.  I had 2 children with him, both girls.  He abused me and treated both me & the girls with indifference most of the time.  When the girls were older he sexually abused them.  I found this out when I noticed they seemed upset and quiet – slouched over a bit.  I tried to run away with them but didn’t escape and was brought back.  I was raped and strangled to death by him.

What I learned from this was that in both these lives, I settled for relationships as they were, even though I was unhappy with them.  I just got by and put up with it.  I learned that if I’m unhappy in a situation to not just stay there and to follow my instincts and my heart.  To not worry about the rules and whatever circumstances seem to be present, but instead to pursue whatever my heart yearns for and have conviction in that it will work out.  But also to create joy or satisfaction no matter what my circumstances are.  Each lifetime ended violently which I wasn’t asked to look into but I think it speaks to why I’ve always been afraid of men taking advantage of me and not trusting them.

In the third, which I had just a brief look into it, I was a young boy (maybe 6 or 7) being picked on by other children and they threw sand in my face.  This was what I saw when we looked into the root of my habitually itchy eyes.  The lesson to learn here is that I let myself be affected by what others thought of me too much when it really only matters what I think of me and that I know myself as great.

Messages from my highest self:

I learned that I procrastinate in order to avoid feeling like I’ll be stuck with something if it works out.  Which is a waste of energy because I can always change things and take on new ventures whenever I want if I want.  I spend so much time avoiding doing things that would move me forward because I fear that I’ll end up stuck in a situation that feels like I’m settling or putting up with however things are.  Basically I straddle between the ‘settling for’ and the ‘never settle for’ by sticking with things I know no longer serve me for longer than necessary while on the other hand (and sometimes simultaneously) jumping from idea to idea, venture to venture, relationship to relationship in order to not get trapped.  What I see I need to take on now is finding middle ground where I can commit to something and allow it to continually evolve into whatever serves me best.

I need to learn trust and compassion.  I need to listen to and follow my intuition instead of ignoring it.  Noticing when I have doubt or a nagging that something isn’t right for me and actually taking it seriously.  At the same time I need to learn to trust both myself and others.

Once persistent message was that everything I need is within.  Love is within.  I need to love myself completely and fully and allow it to flow forth from me to others. I also need to learn patience. I need to love and have compassion for people no matter what because everyone else is the same as me.

I have to remind myself of why I fell in love with things in the first place and to CHOOSE joy as my predominate experience.  I got that I should meditate every morning when I wake up to practice being with stillness and that I could also meditate on a particular way of being like peace or joy or love.  (This will help me sleep better as I sometimes still have trouble as would having more regular sleeping hours).  I also got that I should write my book every day for at least an hour.

It was definitely a cool experience.  I’ll have to let you know what comes of it.  We’re doing past life regression work in my intuitive tools class with Deganit Nuur this month so I’ll be able to relay what others see as well!

Thoughts/comments?