Jaclyn Beckerman Coaching

What’s not happening can never be what’s actually happening.

I’ve noticed recently how much energy I spend on what’s not happening.

For example, I had some friends meeting me at Sacred Center a couple weeks ago and they were 45 minutes late.  That’s halfway through the service.  And for the first half of the service, I was watching the door for them and thinking about where they were, annoyed that they weren’t there.  It was then that I first realized that I spend so much time focused on what’s isn’t happening (here it’s that they weren’t there yet) that I don’t get to enjoy whatever is going on.  The kicker is, the idea that ‘they weren’t there’, wasn’t actually happening.  In that moment, all that was happening was that I was there, listening to people sign and talk at Sacred Center.  I was completely lacking any presence whatsoever with where I currently was and wasn’t enjoying this thing that I was there for.

I’ve since started really practicing noticing when I’m stressing out about something that’s not happening.  One of the most obvious places this shows up for me is when someone is late to meet me.  I notice all my focus goes towards them being late and where they are instead of just focusing on where I am and being in the moment.  It’s true they might be late, but where they are really doesn’t have to affect me and take over my consciousness.  I can instead choose to be with what is.

I know I’ve focused on lateness here but consider this same idea is applicable in any area of life where you’re focusing on what’s not so instead of what is.

This could be when you’re sitting at home thinking about work and dreading a certain project or boss or going in general (you’re not currently at work though!).  Or when you’re on vacation thinking about all you’re going to have to deal with when you get home and making lists of what to do (not much of a vacation).  Or when you’re on a date and thinking about if this is going to go anywhere and measuring  your date up against some imaginary guidelines (you’re with someone now! Be with them).  I’m sure you can think of many more examples.

Start noticing where your energy is.  Is it in any other moment than the current one?  What would be different or available to you if you got present to where you are right now, all the time?  What if you stopped stressing out about the things that you’re assuming (or making up) are happening and just started living in the present moment?

I do.  And I always get an answer.

When I talk to God (or if you prefer – spirit, universe, higher power, whatever works for you) it’s usually either in writing or in my head (which makes me feel slightly crazy sometimes).  But whatever I ask is ALWAYS answered immediately.  Usually in my own voice – but there’s always an answer there and that answer is not based in my fears or insecurities.

I’ve worked persistently to develop my ability to access my intuition and listen to what it says.  And so long as the answer is based in love and a stand for my greatness, I know it comes directly from spirit.  So whether you see it as my intuition, higher self or God – I believe that voice is connected to the universe in ways I don’t have evidence for and can’t explain.  That’s part of why they call it faith, don’t you think?

There have been (and still are) many times where I’ve ignored my inner compass, which consistently gives me the answers I’m need (although not always the ones I want) and provides incredible guidance.  Often this is because my head wants one thing and my heart wants another.  Although, time and time again, my heart proves to be right whether I listen to it or not.

It’s interesting how adamant we can be about ignoring this inner knowing or understanding.  We seem to be more committed to that disempowering voice in our head that tells us we’re not good enough than we are to being our greatness.  Which, absurd as it may seem, makes perfect sense.  It’s safer and easier to hang out in our comfort zone wrapped up in our fears where we don’t have to change or do anything differently.  But the life you want, if you don’t already have it, doesn’t exist within what you already know.  So for those of us who are brave enough to face the unknown with love, change it is.

What does your intuition tell you?  How do you speak to God?

…and you’ll get it back 1000 fold.

Rev. Gold talked about the law of attraction in her message at Sunday’s service.

Phenomenal message.  She said anything you seek is seeking you.

We are constantly asking what can life do for me when what we should be asking is “What can I do for life?”  It blew my mind how similar this was to the breakthrough I had and wrote about in my blog post a couple weeks ago, Sharing My Heart.

We can’t have what we want until we generate it within ourselves and give it away.  EVERYTHING is already within you.  Put out a hand and ask for life to give to you and you will just end up with an empty hand.  You can only receive what you want when you give it away first.

I believe it’s the Koran that says ‘take one step towards me and I will take a thousand toward you’.  The smaller and stingier we give of ourselves the less we get in return.  When we move in the direction of our hearts and our own personal truth, and give to life, we then create space for that thing to exist within our lives.  When we hold a mentality of abundance, we are then attracting and open to receiving abundance.  When we are generous, the world is generous with us.

It seems so simple yet par for the course of humanity, we make even the most common sense concepts unendingly complicated.

The law of correspondence (or attraction) says that what you yourself are bringing to life, life, like a mirror, reflects that back to you.  Said more plainly, life will reflect back to you that which you have given to life.

The light bulb went on that I have definitely not been giving my best everywhere so of course I’m not getting it back in return.  How could I?!  You can only get what you put out there.

Talk about motivation.

Peace, stillness, connecting with yourself, going within.  All some things that pop to mind for me.

I have to say Monday night I did not sleep well.  It easily took me a couple hours to fall asleep.  I used to have pretty bad insomnia growing up, which I’ve mostly overcome but it still hits me once in awhile.

So Tuesday I had a long day full of sample sessions, Accomplishment Coaching leader calls, clients and my own coach.  I was exhausted all day and definitely dragging along through parts of it.

THEN, I went to Siddha Yoga for dinner and an hour and a half of singing, reflecting, chanting and meditation – essentially raising my vibrational energy with lots of wonderful people.  Before the chanting and silent meditation started (they go one after another), the woman leading this evening asked us to reflect for a couple of minutes in silence on why we came here.  What came to mind for me was opening my heart to love and compassion and being with a community dedicated to the same, recognizing our inherent oneness or unity and raising my energy and spirits with them collectively.

Although at times I was a bit antsy, half nodding off from being so tired or ready to be done with it (my mind’s usual song and dance), it was still certainly rejuvenating and I was definitely glad I’d come back.

However, it wasn’t until I was having a conversation with a friend on the phone later that I really realized (and exclaimed) how much better I felt than prior to meditation!  In fact, I felt pretty great.

It just goes to show that taking time to be still and go within makes such a significant impact on our (at least my) well being.  No wonder people who meditate are so much calmer and more peaceful than everyone else.  It’s re-energizing!

This isn’t to say I’m consistent with doing a daily practice yet (far from it) but I certainly see the value and will start to integrate it more and more into my life.

It’s funny how taking 20, even 10 minutes a day to meditate can seem like an imposition or a hardship (you don’t have the time, right?) and yet we waste that time so incredibly quickly doing other things that don’t serve us nearly as well like watching TV (one of my personal favorites), mindlessly surfing the internet (sometimes done while watching TV – ADD at it’s best) or just getting caught up in drama – which lets be honest, everyone does at times.  I’m guessing it would be ideal to do longer than 10 or 20 minutes but I really think that even that (especially starting out) would make a huge difference in our days, especially if we started the day off with it.

So, I’m extremely curious, what’s your experience with meditating?  Do you do it?  For how long and how frequently?  Do you sit in silence, do visualization or something else?  What difference does it make for you?

This story was relayed to me in my Landmark Forum in Action seminar last night.  It really struck me as incredibly insightful and inspiring and I wanted to share it with you.  Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below!

The Sense of the Goose

In the fall when you see geese heading south for the winter flying in the “V” formation, you might be interested in knowing what science has discovered about why they fly that way. It has been learned that as each bird flaps its wings, it creates uplift for the bird immediately following. By flying in a “V” formation, the whole flock adds at least 71% greater range than if each bird flew on its own.

Lesson: People who are a part of a team and share a common direction get where they are going quicker and easier, because they are going quicker and easier and because they are traveling on the trust of one another.

Whenever a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go through it alone and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the power of the flock.

Lesson: If we have as much sense as a goose, we will share information with those who are headed the same way we are going.

When the lead goose gets tired, he rotates back in the wing and another goose takes over.

Lesson: It pays to share leadership and take turns doing hard jobs.

The geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep their speed.

Lesson: Words of support and inspiration help energize those on the front line, helping them to keep pace in spite of the day-to-day pressures and fatigue.

Finally, when a goose gets sick or is wounded by a gun shot and falls out, two geese fall out of the formation and follow the injured one down to help and protect him. They stay with him until he is either able to fly or until he is dead, and then they launch out with another formation to catch up with their group.

Lesson: If we have the sense of a goose, we will stand by each other when things get rough.

The next time you see a formation of geese, remember: it is a reward, a challenge and a privilege to be contributing to a team!

(Author unknown)

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This seems to have come at the perfect time since in my post yesterday I spoke of only fostering relationships with amazing people from now on.  This story really just reinforces what I’ve already realized: that (for me) being with like-minded people who are raising their vibration (or spiritual consciousness) or doing transformational work inspires me to be bigger, bolder and step further into my leadership.

Conversely, I can see that being with folks who are very judgmental or pessimistic pulls you into their vortex of negativity and drains you.  So again, the message is, surround yourself with those who bring you up, not down!

Being with other leaders who have courageously taken on this kind of work allows me to step up and take on the challenge of learning to lead effectively and as a team part of the time while allowing others to take the lead and supporting them other times.

The bottom line is: the weight of the world does not have to rest on my shoulders alone. Which I think it may seem like sometimes. I have wonderful people I can enroll in supporting me in whatever way I need because they love and care about me – and I get to do the same for them.  These people most definitely challenge and inspire me.  From my leadership team in Accomplishment Coaching, to all my fellow participants in Landmark, to the folks I meet at Sacred Center and Siddha Yoga and the various other spiritual, mental, emotional and physical venues of my life. I have to say, it’s pretty amazing to realize the vast richness of the resources I have and am creating.

I am just going to give a detailed account of what I felt or saw.  It reminded be of something like Reiki except without any physical touch.

First I talked to Yossi about why I was taking this on, essentially sharing the things I felt I needed to let go of.  Mainly this related to beliefs I felt were in the way of me building my business successfully and finding the right relationship.   The whole thing lasted 45 minutes.

Yossi started out by saying a little prayer and from the moment he started doing praying, my heart started beating faster and continued to do so at least until he came over to the table. (Which was essentially a massage table).  Once he came over he told me to try to still my mind, go into my heart and just be.

Then, I actually felt the energy moving in my body!  In the beginning I felt it moving up from my stomach to my chest to my head and finally I felt a light-medium pulling sensation out through my crown chakra (top of the head).  As best I can describe it, the feeling was that of a compressed ball of pressure and tingling feeling which sort of lingered in each area for a bit and then progressed upwards.  This reoccurred a few times going from my chest up to and out through my head.  Later on I also felt energy just lifting/pulling out of me from my stomach & chest upwards (somewhere through the 2nd-4th Chakras I suppose). I could feel my chest getting so full of energy that it would lift slightly up from the table along with a slight tilt back of my head without my effort.  There was at one point an undeniable tilting of my head to the left and then down a bit – it felt like I was being pulled by the energy to do so. More than once I felt energy enveloping my entire body.

Right above my lower right hip I felt a small pang of pain and immediately after I briefly felt medium-heavy pressure just on my right eye.  There was one more spot that I don’t recall.  Yossi told me after that when you feel slight, brief pain like a pinch or pang or pressure in a localized spot it’s energy knots that are being released.

I could feel energy (like a small ball or area of it, strong tingles or pressure) in some different parts of my body at different times, including my hands, feet and knee.

In my minds eye I could see 2 spirit bodies standing over me, perhaps 3 at one point – sort of a bluish color – they were more masses of energy than distinct features.  Though at one point I believe I saw a flash of a detailed profiled face but it was too quick to describe it. Yossi said that he had called the Angels and Ascended Masters to come heal me so it made sense I would see them there.

I frequently had thoughts popping up after a few moments of stillness but one time in the stillness I felt a strong sense of love & compassion come over me.

Now, I’m going to precursor this with that I’m hesitant to share this part but I’m going to anyway.  Early on, just for a minute, I had a flash of imagery of myself as an Indian princess and saw my parents (not the same ones as now) in front of me. I think this may have been a past life. I got the sense there may have been some violence against me in this life at some point.  This was especially interesting to me because when I went to Siddha Yoga on Tuesday I had a very similar image of myself pop into my head during our chanting.

I recall getting worried that the beliefs would come back and I got the response of ‘permanent’.  (The skeptic in me wants to refute, ‘how could it be permanent?’ But that’s what I got.)

Seeing as I’m not seasoned at shutting off my mind as a meditation practice, there were definitely other thoughts that popped up.  I don’t know whether they were of my conscious mind or subconscious mind – nor can I think of other specific ones to share.

But I certainly enjoyed the experience and I definitely felt lighter, freer and more at ease after the process was complete.

I also made a wonderful new friend.  Yossi has been practicing Siddha Yoga for 16 years.  He does spiritual counseling in addition to energy work.  He is incredibly wise, warm, and well versed in higher consciousness work which you all know I love.  He’s so generous in sharing his own spiritual journey with others and is a delight to spend time with.

Different people have different experiences but if you’re interested in trying it out it’s very affordable and I’d be happy to provide Yossi’s information.  Let me know!

I thought the previous post describing Sacred Center was getting too long so decided to break off my experience of today into a new post.

In part of today’s message Rev. Gold read a bit from David Whyte’s poem, Sweet Darkness, that I found so beautiful and worth sharing.

You must learn one thing.

The world was made to be free in.

Give up all the other worlds

except the one to which you belong.

Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet

confinement of your aloneness

to learn that

anything or anyone

that does not bring you alive

you have made too small for you.

I’m going to focus on the last part of this: “Anyone or anything that doesn’t make you come ALIVE, you’ve made too small for you.” Wow. Talk about inspiring.

Now, at first I though she said ‘IS too small for you’, which is different. I’ve always been one to abandon things that don’t (or no longer) make me feel alive and happy. (And since I love ‘getting things right’, I thought: insert victory dance here). There’s obvious potential danger in that of course because with my self diagnosis of chronic ennui, I’ve got a knack for being pretty masterful at avoiding making commitments. So this partly plays into my automatic way of being (which is nothing to throw a party for). As a side note, I’ve made a ton of progress in this area by making bold commitments in the face of my resistance (ie. leading a coach training program, stepping up as a group leader in my Landmark forum seminar…). AND when I DO make a commitment, I’m always 100% all in. Which is why I like to avoid them so stealthily.

Now, looking at that if something or someone doesn’t make me come alive, I’VE MADE them too small for me. That’s interesting. There are many ways to look at that. It could be that I keep choosing people that don’t treat me right or situations that don’t make me come alive – that I’m constantly settling for less than I could have or manifest (probably because some part of me still doesn’t truly believe I deserve the pot of gold). This certainly feels familiar (albeit a bit uncomfortable) and I can see that I do that often enough – especially with people. It could refer to where I squander the possibility of realizing what I’m capable of and who I’m capable of being by making myself smaller to fit in someone else’s box. It could also mean that in my mind I’m making a situation or person smaller than it really is. I’m only seeing one narrow, small perspective or view of them/it that doesn’t show me the jewel or gift available to me which would help me grow and live a bigger life.

What do you see for yourself?

Rev. Gold spoke of recognizing the breakthrough available in every breakdown. (Talk about a coaching concept..) That we need to raise our consciousness above the ‘problems’ that we’re trying to deal with or fix because from that place nothing new will come. Fixing a problem always eventually leads to another problem that needs to be fixed because nothing new ever occurs – and you could spend your entire life fixing problems. You cannot solve problems at the same level of consciousness at which they were created (Einstein). You have to raise your level of consciousness and see the bigger picture, look through your heart (instead of your head) and find the gold the universe is trying to provide you with. She said prayers are always answered when we realize our part in them, because they are answered through us. Not outside of us. We are the doorway (‘between heaven and earth’). So we have to open our eyes and see what’s in front of us otherwise we miss the gifts life has to offer, that are often staring us in the face.

All very thought-provoking. Very inspiring.

After just returning from a 2 week vacation, I’d say this was a great way to start the week…

Happy Sunday,

Jaclyn

God I love this place. I’ve decided it deserves it’s own post.

Sacred Center is a non-denominational church (which the Jew on me insists on calling a spiritual center) based heavily on the teachings of the Tao Te Ching & The Science of Mind. (It’s located at the Church of St Paul & St Andrew on the NE corner of 86th & West End – http://sacredcenterny.org). From their website:

We are a non-religious church that is open to everyone regardless of race, religion, culture or sexual orientation. We teach spirituality, a blend of Western teachings with Eastern philosophies to create the foundation and spiritual practice that has become our life. We are passionate and dedicated to helping you experience the Living God in every area of your life.

Our Teachers are:
* Jesus of Nazareth
* Lao Tsu and the Tao Te Ching
* Ernest Holmes and The Science of Mind
* Charles & Myrtle Fillmore and Unity
* Joel Goldsmith and The Infinite Way
* The mystical stories of the Old & New Testaments
* Bhagavad-Gita – and so many more.

I think it’s akin to Agape in LA if you know of that – I’ve never been to Agape but from what I’ve heard of it they seem well aligned. It’s seriously incredible and they constantly speak of opening your heart and stepping into your own personal path and truth, accepting yourself as you are while taking on your bigness and greatness. I used to go fairly regularly for awhile. I fell off the wagon over the summer and fall but am working on being more consistent again in attending.

Reverend August Gold started the center and is an incredible speaker – she has a fabulous sense of humor and is unendingly inspirational and compassionate while at that same time embracing and sharing her humanity. She’s a gay, Jewish minister. Needless to say I find this quite impressive. I consistently and emphatically endorse her as an incredible spiritual teacher to anyone interested in embracing or enhancing their spirituality in any way.

Being there is such an uplifting experience. Everyone sings and is so joyful and hopeful about life. One of my friends who has always felt repressed and punished by the Christian church (for being who he is) has said that each time he goes to Sacred Center it’s like healing a year of the time (and ensuing bitterness) he was forced to go to Christian church. So if you’re looking for some healing and inspiration, definitely check it out.

Check out the following post for what I took from today’s message.