Jaclyn Beckerman Coaching

People HATE change.

I was having this conversation with a friend the other day.  Without going into details, she’s really unhappy in her job yet is likely going to look for and end up in a similar position.  Sound familiar?  I bet.  This seems to be a common story among folks today.

People are so scared of change that they’ll do just about anything to keep things the same.  To remain comfortable with whatever seems stable.

Unfortunately though, if things aren’t the way you want them to be and you’re not totally happy, the ONLY way to have them go differently and have life be the way you want it to is to invite change in with an open heart.

It’s not the easy path to take.  No one ever said it was.  But it’s the only path to take if you’re looking to live a life of love, joy and satisfaction.  That is unless everything in your life is already absolutely amazing and you wouldn’t even think about changing a single thing in it.  If that’s you, kudos, you’re one of few.  If it’s not, consider that although change is the scarier way to go, everything you want is available to you on the other side of it.

I can honestly say that I’m am 100% a different person than I was a year and a half ago before becoming a coach and getting involved in transformative work.  I am also 100% happier, more fulfilled, more confident and more secure in the knowledge that I can create whatever I want.  All of this was possible ONLY because I took on and embraced change in a really big way.  I took on transforming my life in service of all the results I wanted.

It may have been scary at times, and I may not have always wanted to, but I’ll be damned if it was worth every second.

I finally realized in my call with my coach today that pressure is simply a context and one that I masterfully create at that.  In fact, mine could be lumped together as a context of pressure and playing victim and rebellion.  This is a major context that I’ve been skirting around with my coach for quite some time because I even felt pressure around the conversation!

I realize that I resist so many things in life because I feel they’re based out of pressure which I want to avoid as much as possible.  Even when I have great things going on in my life, I often get caught up in and tend to focus on the areas that are not working and where I’m not creating the results I want.  I’m pretty sure THIS is where the “I don’t want to”, “I don’t feel like it”, or lazy way of being stems from.  I also get that it’s a completely made up construct that I have created and let take on a life of it’s own.

If there were no pressure, I can see that things would seem more easy and care-free, basically I would be able to exist in a state of freedom. Whatever I do would be because I want to do it, not because I need or have to to satisfy some condition I previously decided needed to be satisfied. I would be able to take action from a place of commitment and creation, rather than fear or obligation.

One of the predominant areas this shows up in is around my coaching practice.  I mean, I can easily imagine that if I were to take action from freedom instead of pressure or a sense of obligation, the results are going to be unbelievably different.

SO, what I’m up to is creating a breakthrough in busting through the pressures.  Life beyond the context of pressure.

I certainly haven’t figured out how yet.  But coaching isn’t about having it all figured out first.  It’s about declaring what you want and then becoming who you need to BE to fulfill on that declaration.

In service of this discovery process, I’d like to ask, how do YOU not create pressure for the things in your life?

Thanks in advance for your contribution and support!

I was in the elevator yesterday on my way back upstairs from lunch break while serving jury duty.  I had a long ride up so I decided to check out the situation, warmly observing the people around me.

Have you ever noticed how people act when they’re in a crowded elevator?  They couldn’t possibly look more like a bunch of shifty characters.  Eyes averted, bodies turned away from one another, trying their best to avoid any possibility of human interaction, biding their time until they can escape the torture.

Not a single person out of at least 8-10 made eye contact with me.

How funny is this? Or perhaps it’s sad.

Are we really that disconnected from one another that 30 seconds of conversation, eye contact or even simply an acknowledgment of each others existence is that painful?  And of course God forbid it be while trapped in a small enclosed space.

What are we really avoiding everyone for?  What if your soul mate was nestled within one of those dozens of people you avoid interacting with on a daily basis?  Or your new best friend?  Or your next significant mentor, client, or boss?

To be transparent, plenty of the time I’m just as guilty as everyone else of not taking advantage of the opportunity to get related to others. I’m just reflecting on it and realize that chances are, I’m missing out on some amazing opportunities to let people make a difference in my life.  I believe even the smallest interaction can make an impact and I can think of plenty of folks I only had one interaction with that taught me something new which made a lasting and sometimes life altering impression. If we are evolved enough to see the importance of self actualization, learning, and growth, we can pretty safely say that the true test of living from love and our highest self resides within the way we relate to others.

Yet then we avoid others at all costs.

Talk about squandering opportunities.

Peace, stillness, connecting with yourself, going within.  All some things that pop to mind for me.

I have to say Monday night I did not sleep well.  It easily took me a couple hours to fall asleep.  I used to have pretty bad insomnia growing up, which I’ve mostly overcome but it still hits me once in awhile.

So Tuesday I had a long day full of sample sessions, Accomplishment Coaching leader calls, clients and my own coach.  I was exhausted all day and definitely dragging along through parts of it.

THEN, I went to Siddha Yoga for dinner and an hour and a half of singing, reflecting, chanting and meditation – essentially raising my vibrational energy with lots of wonderful people.  Before the chanting and silent meditation started (they go one after another), the woman leading this evening asked us to reflect for a couple of minutes in silence on why we came here.  What came to mind for me was opening my heart to love and compassion and being with a community dedicated to the same, recognizing our inherent oneness or unity and raising my energy and spirits with them collectively.

Although at times I was a bit antsy, half nodding off from being so tired or ready to be done with it (my mind’s usual song and dance), it was still certainly rejuvenating and I was definitely glad I’d come back.

However, it wasn’t until I was having a conversation with a friend on the phone later that I really realized (and exclaimed) how much better I felt than prior to meditation!  In fact, I felt pretty great.

It just goes to show that taking time to be still and go within makes such a significant impact on our (at least my) well being.  No wonder people who meditate are so much calmer and more peaceful than everyone else.  It’s re-energizing!

This isn’t to say I’m consistent with doing a daily practice yet (far from it) but I certainly see the value and will start to integrate it more and more into my life.

It’s funny how taking 20, even 10 minutes a day to meditate can seem like an imposition or a hardship (you don’t have the time, right?) and yet we waste that time so incredibly quickly doing other things that don’t serve us nearly as well like watching TV (one of my personal favorites), mindlessly surfing the internet (sometimes done while watching TV – ADD at it’s best) or just getting caught up in drama – which lets be honest, everyone does at times.  I’m guessing it would be ideal to do longer than 10 or 20 minutes but I really think that even that (especially starting out) would make a huge difference in our days, especially if we started the day off with it.

So, I’m extremely curious, what’s your experience with meditating?  Do you do it?  For how long and how frequently?  Do you sit in silence, do visualization or something else?  What difference does it make for you?