Jaclyn Beckerman Coaching

I closed my eyes on the subway today.  I had music on at the time and just focused on nothing but the music.  What I realized is that I can quite easily create spaciousness and peace even when I’m surrounded by dozens of people I don’t know.

It’s similar to the sensation I get from being at Siddha Yoga.  I’m chanting and meditating with a room full of people (there they’re doing the same) and the only time I’m really present to being surrounded by folks is if I open my eyes.  The difference there is the warm feeling of unity and belonging you get from being surrounded by others who are committed to raising their spiritual awareness and consciousness.

It’s amazing to me though how closing my eyes and getting present in the moment shifts my mind frame and attitude.  I wasn’t particularly flustered or anything on the subway but the stark contrast of before and after closing my eyes and going within was certainly notable.  Afterward I felt more connected and at ease.

It’s wonderful to experience because just a couple years ago I adamantly proclaimed that I couldn’t meditate even though I wanted to and believed it could be useful in helping me focus and find some inner calmness.

It makes me wonder how quickly other folks give up trying to meditate after a handful of failed attempts.  Have you ever tried?  If you did try and gave up, how much of a shot did you really give it?

I ask because there was a time when I was one of those people who had given up on it. Knowing now the difference it has made in my life – and the difference it has made in many others lives based on various discussions I’ve had – I easily and whole-heartedly recommend it to anyone.

There are so many studies on the benefits of meditation.  Here are just a couple articles that discuss how meditating can make you more intelligent because it increases the size of your brain and how it calms your emotional response system.

There are many forms of meditation.  So if just shutting your mind off for an extended period of time seems daunting or difficult, you could try starting with visual meditation or mindful meditation where you focus on a particular feeling or word – or even just smile the entire time.  Shutting your mind off entirely from it’s regular whirring seems to be the most challenging but many say it just takes practice and a commitment to keep trying and expanding your capacity for it even if/when you struggle with it.

Meditating has been credited with such accolades as lowering stress, anxiety, and depression and increasing happiness. But regardless of how you take it on and learn, it sure seems as though the benefits outweigh the effort you have to put in.

What value do you see for yourself in calming or pausing your mind’s constant churning and actually being still and present for any extended period of time?  What difference might it make in your life to start practicing some focused attention inwards without the judgmental or critical eye of your ego mind?

If you do meditate regularly, what benefits have you gained from the practice?

Personally, I believe it’s made me calmer and significantly more capable of being at ease regardless of the situation or circumstance I’m currently in.  It’s also helped me become more spacious and unattached to any particular outcome with people like potential clients or even with friends.  All absolutely worthwhile results.

I had my intuitive tools class with Deganit Nuur today.  Deganit is a gifted intuitive reader who went to school for it and is now teaching folks who are interested how to do it themselves.  It’s essentially a lot of visual meditation and allowing your intuition to express itself to you either visually or by thoughts that come to you.  She does the class in 4 levels with three 3-hour classes per level at $150 for class.

I’ve used the techniques/tools just for myself to ground and bring in good energy as needed which is amazing and it’s also useful for gaining insights from past events, making decisions or attracting something into your life.

Today we learned how to look at relationships in our lives and learn what’s going on in them and how they’re serving us as well as how they’ll develop in the future.  We also learned how to go look at past events that have occurred and see what there is to learn from them (or to learn from our past selves or what we have to say to our past selves).

It’s a small class this time with just two of us learning so we’re doing it at my place.  One girl had to leave a bit early so at the end Deggi and I read each other.  I of course won’t share about her reading since it’s not mine to share but I will tell you a bit about mine!  I’m just going to share one thing she saw in my current life and then share what she saw looking into one of my past lives.

Again, Deggi is amazing at doing readings.  We talked about my friendships and she described one of the girls she recognized as me having a really close friendship with in the future.  She saw someone who had long dark hair & fair skin who really doesn’t care about what others think about her.  She’s a very bold person, is not a people pleaser at all and will always give it to me straight and I know that she completely still loves me and accepts me for who I am.  She said she is not very open to the metaphysical stuff that I’m into (it’s kind of weird to her) but is curious about it and there’s a part of her that is into the idea of it and it’s inspiring to her.  She helps me not care about what others think and own my space more and I help her with her spirituality and her softer side.  I probed with some questions asking if I already knew this person and she got a ‘yes and no’ saying I may have met her a few times but don’t really know her and we don’t have friends in common.  Then she said I may have met her in a gym class (I gasped).  Then I asked if I had ever been friends with her before and she said she ‘got a huge yes’. I told her I knew who it was!  She asked who and I said my friend Jen (to which she got a yes).  I met her in the gym before school started in 8th grade! She was one of my closest friends when I was young and then we grew apart and just reconnected a month ago. (Jen has admitted that she’s not very open to the metaphysical but is very interested to learn more about it because I’m so passionate about it.  The rest of the description of her is pretty accurate as well.)  So I thought this was incredibly cool validation for what she was seeing because there’s no possible way she could have known all this stuff about this friend.

On to the past life part.  I also asked if I’d been a princess in a past life (if you’ve read my past posts, this has come up for me more than once) and she said yes and then looked into the life that came up for her. She saw me at around 9 years old.  I always got what I wanted (funny because my sister recently said I was put on this planet to get what I want) and I was running around the castle, not very well behaved (frustrating for my caretakers).  I knew the rules but thought, ‘whatever I’m a princess’, so I ignored the smaller rules and acted instead on the bigger picture I saw around me.  I was gifted at seeing the bigger picture and it benefited me mentally, emotionally & spiritually to act on that but would frustrate others, which in turn would frustrate me. When looking into what year and country it was she saw Scotland in 1866.  (Which was also incredibly interesting because if you check out my post on my recent past life regression session, my cousin commented on it saying when she went to Scotland in 2005 she had a really strong feeling she’d been there before! (They say your soul tends to reincarnate with the same group of souls many times)).

She saw my sister now (Jen) as a little boy who wasn’t royalty but was a good friend who I would play with (who was just as naughty as I was).  For me he represented freedom and the ability to just play and be a kid and for him I represented a lot of acceptance.  He didn’t have that many friends (and especially not royalty) so it was really special for him that I was a princess and wanted to be his friend.  (Though I played the princess card sometimes, ‘my way or the highway’, which didn’t bother him.)  My current parents were caretakers of mine in this lifetime but not the king and queen – my mother as my caretaker was really patient with me.  The king was a boyfriend of mine in this lifetime, either past or future but she thinks future.

My gift is seeing the bigger picture but I have to realize that I’m still living in the smaller picture too.  There are still rules I do need to go by just to make it so it works out for everyone (although in the grand scheme of things I don’t need to but it makes my personal life a lot easier if I follow the systems already set up).  It’s easier to be in the now than just try/want to jump to the future since I don’t have the tools to jump to the future.

The lesson for this lifetime was that that if I’d just go sit in the princess chair for 5 minutes (instead of running away from it every time they tried to put me there) it would actually take a lot less time than my running from it and being brought back constantly which would end up taking 15 minutes – ie. what there is for me to learn in this lifetime is PATIENCE (which has come up for me before).

I asked if I’d been a princess in other lifetimes and she counted 5.  I also asked how many lives I’ve lived and she said she a lot – hundreds.  My sister and I have joked that we were probably married in a past life (which she got a huge yes for – but not this particular life as a princess) and that she was my mother in a past life as well (which she also got a yes for).  The two biggest things for me to learn in my current lifetime are patience and trust.  I can never know what people are thinking and it will be huge for me to just enjoy the silence, know how I feel about them and let that hold more value than how I think they feel about me.  It would be a huge lesson for me to put the emphasis on me and what I’m getting out of it instead of trying to figure out what they think/feel about me.

Seriously, Deganit is AMAZING!  If you’re interested in doing a session with her you can go to her website and contact her here.

Peace, stillness, connecting with yourself, going within.  All some things that pop to mind for me.

I have to say Monday night I did not sleep well.  It easily took me a couple hours to fall asleep.  I used to have pretty bad insomnia growing up, which I’ve mostly overcome but it still hits me once in awhile.

So Tuesday I had a long day full of sample sessions, Accomplishment Coaching leader calls, clients and my own coach.  I was exhausted all day and definitely dragging along through parts of it.

THEN, I went to Siddha Yoga for dinner and an hour and a half of singing, reflecting, chanting and meditation – essentially raising my vibrational energy with lots of wonderful people.  Before the chanting and silent meditation started (they go one after another), the woman leading this evening asked us to reflect for a couple of minutes in silence on why we came here.  What came to mind for me was opening my heart to love and compassion and being with a community dedicated to the same, recognizing our inherent oneness or unity and raising my energy and spirits with them collectively.

Although at times I was a bit antsy, half nodding off from being so tired or ready to be done with it (my mind’s usual song and dance), it was still certainly rejuvenating and I was definitely glad I’d come back.

However, it wasn’t until I was having a conversation with a friend on the phone later that I really realized (and exclaimed) how much better I felt than prior to meditation!  In fact, I felt pretty great.

It just goes to show that taking time to be still and go within makes such a significant impact on our (at least my) well being.  No wonder people who meditate are so much calmer and more peaceful than everyone else.  It’s re-energizing!

This isn’t to say I’m consistent with doing a daily practice yet (far from it) but I certainly see the value and will start to integrate it more and more into my life.

It’s funny how taking 20, even 10 minutes a day to meditate can seem like an imposition or a hardship (you don’t have the time, right?) and yet we waste that time so incredibly quickly doing other things that don’t serve us nearly as well like watching TV (one of my personal favorites), mindlessly surfing the internet (sometimes done while watching TV – ADD at it’s best) or just getting caught up in drama – which lets be honest, everyone does at times.  I’m guessing it would be ideal to do longer than 10 or 20 minutes but I really think that even that (especially starting out) would make a huge difference in our days, especially if we started the day off with it.

So, I’m extremely curious, what’s your experience with meditating?  Do you do it?  For how long and how frequently?  Do you sit in silence, do visualization or something else?  What difference does it make for you?

I am just going to give a detailed account of what I felt or saw.  It reminded be of something like Reiki except without any physical touch.

First I talked to Yossi about why I was taking this on, essentially sharing the things I felt I needed to let go of.  Mainly this related to beliefs I felt were in the way of me building my business successfully and finding the right relationship.   The whole thing lasted 45 minutes.

Yossi started out by saying a little prayer and from the moment he started doing praying, my heart started beating faster and continued to do so at least until he came over to the table. (Which was essentially a massage table).  Once he came over he told me to try to still my mind, go into my heart and just be.

Then, I actually felt the energy moving in my body!  In the beginning I felt it moving up from my stomach to my chest to my head and finally I felt a light-medium pulling sensation out through my crown chakra (top of the head).  As best I can describe it, the feeling was that of a compressed ball of pressure and tingling feeling which sort of lingered in each area for a bit and then progressed upwards.  This reoccurred a few times going from my chest up to and out through my head.  Later on I also felt energy just lifting/pulling out of me from my stomach & chest upwards (somewhere through the 2nd-4th Chakras I suppose). I could feel my chest getting so full of energy that it would lift slightly up from the table along with a slight tilt back of my head without my effort.  There was at one point an undeniable tilting of my head to the left and then down a bit – it felt like I was being pulled by the energy to do so. More than once I felt energy enveloping my entire body.

Right above my lower right hip I felt a small pang of pain and immediately after I briefly felt medium-heavy pressure just on my right eye.  There was one more spot that I don’t recall.  Yossi told me after that when you feel slight, brief pain like a pinch or pang or pressure in a localized spot it’s energy knots that are being released.

I could feel energy (like a small ball or area of it, strong tingles or pressure) in some different parts of my body at different times, including my hands, feet and knee.

In my minds eye I could see 2 spirit bodies standing over me, perhaps 3 at one point – sort of a bluish color – they were more masses of energy than distinct features.  Though at one point I believe I saw a flash of a detailed profiled face but it was too quick to describe it. Yossi said that he had called the Angels and Ascended Masters to come heal me so it made sense I would see them there.

I frequently had thoughts popping up after a few moments of stillness but one time in the stillness I felt a strong sense of love & compassion come over me.

Now, I’m going to precursor this with that I’m hesitant to share this part but I’m going to anyway.  Early on, just for a minute, I had a flash of imagery of myself as an Indian princess and saw my parents (not the same ones as now) in front of me. I think this may have been a past life. I got the sense there may have been some violence against me in this life at some point.  This was especially interesting to me because when I went to Siddha Yoga on Tuesday I had a very similar image of myself pop into my head during our chanting.

I recall getting worried that the beliefs would come back and I got the response of ‘permanent’.  (The skeptic in me wants to refute, ‘how could it be permanent?’ But that’s what I got.)

Seeing as I’m not seasoned at shutting off my mind as a meditation practice, there were definitely other thoughts that popped up.  I don’t know whether they were of my conscious mind or subconscious mind – nor can I think of other specific ones to share.

But I certainly enjoyed the experience and I definitely felt lighter, freer and more at ease after the process was complete.

I also made a wonderful new friend.  Yossi has been practicing Siddha Yoga for 16 years.  He does spiritual counseling in addition to energy work.  He is incredibly wise, warm, and well versed in higher consciousness work which you all know I love.  He’s so generous in sharing his own spiritual journey with others and is a delight to spend time with.

Different people have different experiences but if you’re interested in trying it out it’s very affordable and I’d be happy to provide Yossi’s information.  Let me know!

So, I went to the Siddha Yoga center last night as I mentioned in my previous post.

It was interesting.  I really enjoyed the experience. It’s free to attend for those of you who are wondering.

I got there 15 minutes early in order to attend an introduction. Went to take my shoes and coat off in the coat room and then proceeded directly to the little dining room. Clearly did not find said introduction and ate yummy food instead. Far from surprising. I tend to want to eat all the time.

I wasn’t actually aware they served (sold – but it’s very inexpensive) food so I’d eaten already. But regardless, before the chant and mediation I had a baked apple (soo good) and chai tea.

Ask my parents or any of my exes, the way to my heart is definitely through food. I’m such a guy.

Anyhow, on to the main event. The whole thing lasted about an hour and a half (7p-8:30p). I’m not sure how long each part lasted but first everyone sang a song (prayer?) together in sandskrit (this I had trouble following, even with the printout to follow along). One woman (leading the evening) spoke for a bit and they shared a video clip of the guru, Gurumayi, giving a message about being at peace in your mind; noticing when you have stillness and calm in your mind and recreating that experience throughout your day. She speaks of how having peace in your mind is how you have peace with God.  This is what creates bliss.

Then we chanted: ‘Om Namah Shivaya’ which translates to “I honor the divinity (or Shiva) that resides within me”. It was really singing rather than chanting. The chorus (for lack of a better description) would sing it four times and then everyone else would repeat. In just the very beginning I admit I felt a little silly but that quickly faded as I realized no one here was judging me, they were joining with me. So I let myself envelope into it. There were definitely a few times the thought popped into my head, “Really? how LONG is this going to last?”. But most of the time I found it really enjoyable. It was easy to get uplifted and carried away by the beautiful singing and joint expression of unity. At one point I could actually envision not just that I was honoring myself as divine, but that everyone else chanting was honoring me as divine, and I them. I won’t say this feeling lasted too long for me but it was just such a powerful recognition of connection that the feeling still resonates with me. Other things went through my head as well here and there but can’t remember them specifically enough to share them.

After the chanting completed we went into silent mediation for awhile. Again, no real gauge on the length here. My best guess would be 30 minutes. They tell you to focus either on your breath or you can continue repeating the mantra in your head. Another chant I learned from Eat Pray Love is ham-sa (‘ham’ on the breath in, ‘sa’ on the breath out) which translates to “I am that”. A tribute to my overactive attention span I switched on and off between all three options – the two mantras and watching my breath – mostly watching my breath I suppose. Naturally my thoughts wondered at times – mostly to random thoughts about upcoming or past situations as most minds do – avoiding both the present moment and silencing that inner voice which of course is what meditation is all about. I don’t think I did too poorly though for my first time there (not that you can meditate badly I suppose). When this completed (via gong) we ended the evening.

I proceeded to head back to the little dining room (it’s really a sickness). I got some food to bring home with me because it looked too good not to (of course I caved in and tasted it – delicious) and decaf coffee. I sat down to chat with people which was a delight. Everyone was wonderful and I love the community within the center.

One of the folks I met was an older Israeli man who is a healer. It’s a bit challenging for him to describe what he does as he finds himself shocked and mystified by the results people report to him. He says he’s a conduit for healing people’s karmic energy. Of course I’m captivated by this (having just read about past life regressions and how healing karmic energy can have you break through where you keep consistently getting stuck in life in ‘Many Lives, Many Masters’ by Brian L Weiss). His story of how he came to this path was so engaging. Perhaps I’ll share it another day. Anyway, I’m going to get a healing from him on Saturday so I’ll let you know how it goes. (Excited!) I am definitely beyond interested in finding out what a karmic healing will do for me. Can’t wait to see!

I just finished Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert the other day. It makes me want to go to an Ashram! (Ideally in India – I’ve got a serious travel bug). I tend to be very curious about things and easily enrolled (within reason) into anything spiritual or transformational. Though I’m not going to lie, I’m not completely convinced that I would be able to handle it. It seems pretty intense. However, I’ve certainly done some very rigorous self-development work already so perhaps I’m underestimating myself.

In case you haven’t read the book or don’t know what an Ashram is, I pulled this from Wikipedia: ‘Traditionally, an ashram is a religious hermitage. Additionally, today the term ashram often denotes a locus of Indian cultural activity such as yoga, music study or religious instruction, the moral equivalent of a studio or dojo.’ From what I gather the intention is to have a spiritual experience of connecting with God. I’m intrigued.

Elizabeth Gilbert speaks of having actual experiences of God and the unconditional compassionate love that exists within that state. Fascinating. There’s certainly a part of me that is VERY curious and begs to have that kind of experience myself. If you haven’t garnered this yet, I’m fond of Eastern philosophies. No, I have not studied them in depth, but from what I know of them, I like them. That’s enough for me to want to explore.

She mainly seems to do a lot of mediation. My own meditations are very different than those Liz Gilbert speaks of and I haven’t anywhere near achieved the blissful state that she and many other spiritual writings speak of in their quests to spiritual enlightenment. So hey, I want in the club too.

I can experience stillness more easily than ever before in my lifetime. I could hardly meditate at all before (and had little sense of how to anyway). Let me tell you, meditating absolutely makes a huge difference – instilling a sense of peace and wholeness that I hadn’t before known possible. Since November I’ve been taking Intuitive Tool classes where you learn a lot of wonderful meditation techniques via visualization and build the skill of accessing your intuition. They’re amazing and led by Deganit Nuur (deganitnuur.com). In addition to the classes she offers she also does incredible intuitive readings.

It’s funny because I didn’t even know how starved I was for a spiritual connection until Accomplishment Coaching introduced me to guided meditation and some incredible books like Conversations with God and A Return to Love. Those certainly rocked my world.

That’s actually what led me to seek out Sacred Center in the first place. It’s so great what comes into your life when you create the space for it.

Anyway, I’ve found the Guru Gilbert speaks of in her book, Gurumayi Chidvilasananda who studied under Swami Muktananda (http://www.siddhayoga.org/guru/index.aspx). I’m planning to go to their Tuesday evening mediation tonight and check it out. Will let you know how it goes…