Jaclyn Beckerman Coaching

It’s funny – we always want our lives to be better yet we don’t want to have to be the ones to create it.

I can certainly be guilty of this myself too.  I want to be a leader yet I don’t want to have to be fully responsible for something when there’s a breakdown or something changes.  I’m happy to take something on with the expectation of it going smoothly yet don’t want to deal with the possibility of obstacles or unexpected roadblocks.

Sound familiar?

Yea, that’s pretty much normal life for most folks.

You have a goal you want, but, nevermind just the possibility of failure, you don’t want to deal with the hassle of the potential things that can and will get in your way.

The problem with this is, you never get the results you want if you don’t take the goal on in the face of your fears and the obstacles that will inevitably come up.

My most recent experience of this really has nothing to do with my personal goals but rather something I took on to support one of my communities.  I took it on, a breakdown ensued, and while I knew I had to be the one to handle it, my automatic instinct was to be irritated, frustrated and maybe even a bit insolent about it.

All of my reaction and ‘victimization’ by the situation does very little to support my community and create the result we need.  I get that the gap here this is really about full and complete ownership.  When you take something on, whether it’s your own goal or something that you took on to support another person or group, it is then yours to see through, regardless of what comes up or gets in the way.

There is always an ebb and flow in life.  Things go smoothly and then there are waves.  The distinction here, different than the ocean, is that you actually have a choice in whether you let the wave pull you under or if you choose to just ‘be with’ it and move forward and beyond it.  There’s really no use in getting dragged under by the waves because then you suffocate and cease to really live.  In the case of life, this looks like being ‘at the effect’ of what happens to you instead of ‘causing’ the life (and results) that you want.

What I got from this experience is to really just handle my reactions quicker and get back into empowered action so as to create power in the face of anything.  From this place, there will never be an obstacle that could truly hold you back.  There is abundance in the world and we inherently have the ability (and creativity) to tap into all sorts of resources and support when we choose to take ownership of everything that comes our way in life.

Chew on that for awhile and leave your thoughts below.  Where have you abdicated your commitments in the past or present?  How has that served you and what has it cost you?  How would your life be different if you chose to be ‘the one’ who can make it happen (whatever it is) all the time?

..is to travel.  I don’t really know for how long.  Perhaps for a year or so, perhaps longer?  But I know I want to travel and to write.  At the same time I want to be in an amazing relationship, have some coaching clients as well as passive income and be lit up by what I do.  That’s what I really want.

After a call with my coach today, I realize that up until now this has really only existed for me as a wish or a fantasy.  Something that I so deeply wanted but to me seemed outrageous, frightening, and perhaps a little unrealistic.  The biggest reason is probably that this would cost a lot of money.  Also, I’m not totally confident in my writing skills or if anyone will want to read what I have to say, it certainly seems like it would be harder to meet someone while traveling and I don’t know if people will understand or support my decision to do this.

Yet, the heart wants what the heart wants.  And it would make me happy.  Really, blissfully happy.

It’s not that I haven’t said this before, it’s that I never committed to it before and believed it could happen the way I want.

So the first step is declaring it as something that will be… scary as that might feel.  I don’t have the how figured out.  But that’s how it usually goes in coaching.  Declare now, figure out how to make happen along the way.

So universe, there you go…. do your thing.